Saturday, December 24, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
There is something that no matter how hard we put our effort into, it still cant be ours. Not even years can assure it. It was never designed for u. It was totally different pair of shoes. But, they still not believe and sadly Im one of them. Until one day, I’ve started to realize…
She is someone’s Minami~
Monday, November 21, 2011
Apart of having my life upside down, still I believe hope will always there. It just depends on how we can handle the pressure. If we start to give up, we won’t achieve what we want. No matter how bad, how we’ve must hurt, if u really wants it, go get it!
I started to realize that this is what I want. I’m too stupid if just let it slip this time. Not this one. But I don’t want to be too pushy. I know things might need some times to work out. But I had to be patience a bit. Let the other side decide. Coz I’m all ready from my side.
But all I’m asking from that side…be firm with what u wants.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Today, I just wanna share something called short miracle that just happened in my life…. Sit back, get
When my life was turned upside down, I couldn’t even think straight. Everything seems to be not interesting. The foods became tasteless. I’ve tried to convince myself that I could get away from this mess. But it all seems to be…useless. People kept asking me bout my status, they even said how sad that it could end like that. The only thing that I could give back to em was just a fake smile. I’m too tired to think bout what had happened. I gave myself a chance to be happy again.
So I just wanna keep this story short, I found someone. At least she could accept for what I am. I’ve downloaded everything bad bout me. Everything that I heard from someone after almost 7 years been together. I don’t know how to be romantic. Sometimes I can barely talk and I can be so quiet. I liked to be with someone that I loved…ALWAYS. I’m a boring type of person. I’m not a good partner if u asks me to a shopping mall. So, she said she can deal with that. Lot of things I’ve tried to show myself to her, and she was just so well absorbed it. So I gave my trust to her….~
We spent times together. We shared all our experiences to rebuild a better understanding. She helped me to stop thinking bout my past. I couldn’t even remember when was the last time I cried. I spent all the times to cherish the moments together. I cant stop looking at her face and believe me I did spent most of the time just staring her. When I looked at her, I just wanted to say:
“Lets stop this and let it be real this time”
“Cant u see that all I wanted is right in front of me??”
“Did u know that I don’t have any HOLD buttons in my heart to stop loving u??”
But, miracle will always shine for glance. Well, I guess just for my case only. Coz now, I need to put a GAP again. The same old time song whispered again,
“I need my time to be alone..”
That’s how the 7 years relationship ended…and probably this will too. But, how to stop something that not even started. I didnt had a chance to call her mine. We both not even declared anything. So, it was my fault again to put a hope. Coz i just thought this time it will be different. My bad...i just started to feel that she was mine. But, shes not.
Im a ball.. just wait till the referees to blow the whistle again to start the kick off session. Maybe I really should seek for a doctor. I just wanted to scan my heart if it really does have a HOLD button somewhere. Please take off that piece of glass inside too coz i think its getting deeper stucking into my heart.
But I didn’t blame anyone. I can accept whatever happened to me. Clearly, im just not good enuff to be with. Well I just hoped that whenever I’ll read this again, the same thing wont happen and i can smile while reading this.
Probably He just wants to test me…Thank you Allah. Alhamdulillah~
Jaa / Azhar
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
It was a great job I had coz my job needs to be out of office most of the time. So I use the time to see her. When I came there, I can see her was unhappy. So I passed her the model. The only thing that I looked first was her face. I can see her smiled. She was happy. She holds my hand. I felt happy for her.
Today, I just wish that she can remember this. Remember that eventho I always make her sad, n I was a boring person with no romantic sensation at all………I just hoped that she’ll remember that I did sacrifice everything just to let her smile.
“Whenever I’m around, I wont let u disappointed” Alia : March 2006
50cents coins collection status : Stopped
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
you know I couldn't keep my 'mouth' shut, don't you?
so here it is, my two-cents
I know those feelings that you have rite now. The exact same feelings I had with you back then.
The "I know he'll come back" feelings. The "I know he'll be mine if I just try a little bit harder". The "I know he will be mine again if I just keep on trying harder and harder and never give up. Because in the end, he'll definately comes back."
You did come back.
But not for long.
It means you are never meant for me.
Mark my word, friend.
One day you'll let go.
So now i know...im running in the circle of life...
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Monday, September 5, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
I really wish to see her Happy...But the sad thing is..I cant have her. But i promise her that i’ll be there for her whenever she might lost n need someone to hold on.
Can i do it?? Can i really do that? Can i control myself from falling deep in love with her?? Can i call her name and pretend that i’m just someone else? Maybe she can... But i can’t.
But..i will let my feeling flow...i’ll fill it with our memories...i’ll wait as long i need to. I’ll wait as long as she needs me. I’ll wait, and will never say give up.
I will find that happine$$$$....for you~