Peristiwa Malam Belacan

Lokasi: Megan Avenue 1, Ampang, Kuala Lumpur

Aku parking moto depan megan avenue 1 sbb cuaca tiba2 hujan. Berhenti nak berteduh. Tiba2 aku dengar suara orang bergado, tapi disebabkan xnk jadi 'joyah' sgt (ayat tunang aku) so aku biarkan je. Agak2 berdarah ke mati aku call la ambulan. Tapi Tuhan nak bagi aku HINT malam ni.

Aku ambik rokok dan cuba untuk menyalakan dengan lighter. Tibe2 suara asing (bunyi moto, kete, burung dsb) xde. Yang aku dengar cume perbualan sepasang kekasih/suami isteri ni.

"Ape jenis perempuan kau ni hah?" Suara laki tu bertempik

"Betul, ada tujuh ringgit je...betul" balas perempuan tu ngan muke sedih.

"Tujuh ringgit?? Nak makan camane? Belacan? gula? Semua nak beli!!" laki tu marah lagi.

So takat tu je yg aku betul2 dengar. Yg lain samar2 dan aku xnk buat tambah cerita. Memang aku xtau hujung pangkal cerita gaduh diorang tu tadi. Memang tak adil kalau aku tiba2 menyebelahi mana2 kalau aku sendiri tak tau punca dan jalan cerita. Cuma. aku sebagai lelaki, yg waras, aku boleh katakan cara lelaki tu salah.

Marah tu boleh, tapi perlu ke di tempik perempuan tu depan orang ramai? Bukan aku nak cakap aku byk duit, tapi kalau aku ikutkan hati seboleh2 nak aku yg tanggung semua perbelanjaan keluarga aku. Bukan harapkan orang lain. Ye kalau xmampu mintak bantuan isteri, tapi bukan maki2.

Dalam masa tu aku sedih dengar dorg bergaduh. Yelah, 7 ringgit je ade. Nak makan berdua cukup ke 7 ringgit?? Aku cam rase nak je hulur sket ape yg ade tapi aku xnk la nnt xpasal2 aku plak kene maki. Tu belum isi minyak moto, belacan dgn gula. Habis tu esok nak makan ape pulak?? Aku yg jd sebak sbb aku terbayang cmne pulak aku kalau jadi macam tu.

Bukan aku nak menilai sape2, tapi dari perwatakan lelaki tu sendiri, aku xrase perempuan tu salah. Mungkin aku judge dari luaran sbb aku tgk cara pakaian laki tu, cara bercakap, lenggok badan, motor die...aku xrase die seorang yg berperangai senonoh. Hidup aku pernah bergaul dengan macam2 jenis manusia so i got the clue a bit.

Bile hujan dah renyai aku cepat gerak nak balik. Sepanjang dlm perjalanan aku balik td, aku asek terpikir sape salah dan sape betul. Aku sibuk buat theory sendiri dan macam2 la. Tapi bile aku pikir betul2, baru aku sedar...bukan mencari kesalahan orang lain yg menjadi pengajaran tuk aku malam ni, tapi....pengajaran aku malam ni adelah Pernah kah aku bersyukur dengan nikmat yg Tuhan dah bagi pada aku selama ni?

Ya Allah, andai aku pernah terlupa bersyukur di atas nikmat Mu selama hidupku,ampunkan lah dosa ku dan kesilapanku. Berkatkan lah rahmat kesyukuranMu padaku. Aku bersyukur di atas segala pemberian Mu. Berkatilah rezeki ku sepanjang hidupku. Halalkan lah rezeki ku untuk ahli keluarga ku. Alhamdulillah di atas segala kurnian Mu~




-azhar-

Welcome to Celcom

 

Alhamdulillah, Praised to Allah. Finally i have a steady job. I didnt expect to work here in Celcom eventho i had to pass by the great tower almost everyday to go to my previous job. Yes i did had that concious bout how it would be to work with this big Telco company. I even talked to myself n looked myself to the mirror, what should i do to make people believe that i do have that 'power' to work under this big organization. Since the interview with Petronas didnt worked as i expected afterall, i promptly assumed that i will end up in sales and stuck in this line forever.

 

Guess what, im getting married but i still didnt have any steady job. Such a loser. I couldnt sleep well. Every morning i had to cheat myself and said its gonna be okay, someone will call u for a better job. I know some people being worried bout me. I know its a suicide action after what i did by quitting my previous job without any backup plan. Im so worried. Those people around me keep saying the same thing "Are you going to be fine?" Well for a second, yes i can pretend that. But the whole picture, guess what...its like breathing without air and all you can do is just hope for a miracle to happen.

 

Luckily, i still have quite motivations from few people. My parents, eventho they keep complaining bout my life but at least they never leave me when im at my lowest. They showed efforts by giving me quite contacts to have me call. They never asked me how i feel or am i doing fine or not coz they already knw.

 

Well my life was not that bad either. Theres still someone who actually struggled with me. She was worried too. She kept saying everything should be okey. I dont know who she was trying to comfort. Probably she was meant to say that to herself. But, she never leave me fighting alone. She tried to face it with me. Eventho sometimes i could see she almost giving up, but she still tried to fight. Until the day i finally got this job.

 

When Fauzan called me and told me that Celcom offered me the job, it was a miracle that i could've never imagined. I stood up from my sit and find a place to express my joy. I couldn't help myself to hold the great news from my parents. They deserved to know it. They seemed to be so happy with the news. So does this girl. Well, i got my hug when i told her bout this great news. So its a quite happy story for me. Seems like the hug was a message that finally we can get married.

 

For a reason, things might not happen like we wanted it to be. But giving up, is not one of the healthy lifestyle you should've been practice. Always remember, dont expect result too soon. Even if you thought that you've been trying all your efforts, it just not meant to be there yet. It'll come when it suppose to be. If you quit, u'll get the result...the fact that u quit. You got nothing.

 

 

 

 

Great things wont come too soon, miracle does.

 

Azhar Adam

 

Celcom Product & Services

Marketing Division

2012-Present

 

Big World

This story is not to show who should be blame. This is not a platform where i think I should hurt anyone by my tiny thoughts. This is just a simple opinions why and where the good  relationship should be.

Differences do made us struggled to achieve understanding with each other. Same thing but we see with different views. Who to blame? I like orange colors, she likes green. I dont even understand why people have to like green. Enuff for the trees, grass etc... but here is the main point. Respect. She asked me to wear green sandals, which i dont even understand why, but i just sheathed those sandals and im still wearing it now. Because for me, you dont have to waste time to understand why but just use the time to cheer her as long as u could. I respect that. If she likes green, i dont even mind wearing green for the rest of my life. If that could make her happy to be with me, then why should i waste it? 

But some people, they might have different views. They thought that people like me, dont have the 'quality' inside. Simply follows whatever other people wants. Hey excuse me if im buggin' u, but this is how i show that i could change anything for her. Coz i dont have a lot of sweet words to say. I dont even have a thick wallet for her everyday. I just want to give some proofs so that she'll be able to see how i could lower down my ego just to make her happy. 

We all have been here before. We all did the same thing. We do had a lot of differences with each other. Just like a family. Your dad like brown and your mom like red. But are they still living together now? Do you even care if they dont like greens? You even bought them present with their favorite colors. Still you can live under one roof together. Have you wondered why?? Coz we care and we loved them! That what makes us totally ignore the differences. We loved them!! We know they could bring us joy and happiness. We just believe.

In a relationship, i wont suggest anyone to do this but some people already did. Please do not hesitate. Do not doubt. Coz when u doubt, it'll be there forever. U will always have the thought of something not nice about ur partner. 

Dont even lie. Dont even try to lie. Not even once. Let the truth dropped like an atom bomb, but still better. Be faithful as much as u want them to be faithful to u. 

Finally, i just want to make something clear now. If u really care, if u really love, u will fight for it. No matter how hard. Drop down your ego and start to share your life with the one you already wanted. You might get some people very easy coz they ran to you. But it doesnt mean you could do whatever you want. We all have the same heart. We all cries. We do feel hurt. 

As for my last words, if we ever thought that our lives could have been better with others, I suggest just walk away. Coz if u really love the one u have now, u wouldnt be able to think like that. Or U maybe did walk away before for some reason to show how u could be able to live without them. But apparently, u really missed them n regret what u did.

I'll write again later...

Regards,

Azhar

Its Getting Weird....

Suppose there should only left few more days to go before I will be having the biggest day of my life (for the moment). But the truth is, i cant feel anything right now. No joy, no happy thoughts, no for everything. There is something that keep spinning inside my head. Lot of questions that i need to get the answers. Lot of things that i need to solve. Im trying my best to ignore those doubts in my head. But its like part of my brain now. They keep coming over & over again. Sometimes i just wished that i can have a memory lost but there was too many beautiful memories that i couldnt just let it be erased. I've learned to accept everything that was meant for me. But sometimes i do have this kind of 'little me' inside that will always keep arguing bout every actions that i've made. I tried to make myself busy. Tried to have conversation with my GF(soon to be fiance). It worked...but only for that period. After that....this 'little me' will start talking again.

It doesnt mean that Im not happy with her. Im glad this big day is coming. Im happy that soon i will have someone to call mine. Im also happy that i will have a new family...and they were actually already treated me like part of their family's member now. I was so touched. I never knew that they will treat me this way. I can see their smiles. I can feel their joy. When Papa (Diyana's dad) called me, most of the time i heard were happy voices. Did I really make him happy? Well, he just happy to have a new family member i guess. Hey, if I had daughter one day, i'll be the same too. I'll be extremely happy..but before that, I cant wait to do those 'poker wild faces' to whoever wanna have a date with my daughter. Hahaha... "Look into my eyes...are you sure bout having a date with my daughter?? I assumed you already knew sometimes people can suddenly disappear."  Hohohohoho....

Heh i was just joking around. But lets get back to my main point here. I would like to emphasized in here that i'm glad to be her present and future. I just wanna say thank you, for opened your heart for me. Thank you for letting us to be one. I know sometimes we had few obstructions and challenges but life is like that. We will learned nothing if only good things happened in our life's. She always helped me when im down. She tried her best to let me feel better. Eventho she also knew that its gonna be a major problems but still...she did what was right.

Some thoughts over the night...

Some thoughts of mine....

We need a mutual-understanding relationships. I can give all my trust, if you trust me that i've put my trust in u. Somehow some people hard to trust other people cz they dont even trust themselves. I dont need LIES in relationship. Cz that is the key point of trust. Once you break it, its hard for you to get in. I believed in transparency. No hiding from each other. Cz for me, being together for the rest of your life..means being ONE. And there is no TWO inside ONE. There is no point being together just for the sake of marriage but keep hiding from each other. 

It is hard to understand each other. But we have to give opportunity for both sides to know better. The truth will always be the greatest pain. But that is the scale to measure how strong your relation could be. F**k all those theories from other people out there and start to believe and live on your own language. If you can put your partner into your greatest place, or the most important place in your life, it means that you are ready to be ONE. Otherwise, you know you just wasting his/her time...and also your time.

If you think that he/she is the most important person in your life, you should treat them like one. Unless you never had that thoughts, then maybe you already know what to do. Life is not as simple as it looks like. It took ages for pyramid to get done. Lots of sacrifices during the evolution. We just need to get focus. Get to know what is real. What is our main objective. 

So here is the best conclusion. A better relationship, is where we put each other as priority. We know we can live without them, but we dont want to live without them. If we cant let them share and be in our life, so dont share at all. Coz being together is all about EVERYTHING TOGETHER. And being together is about having EACH OTHER.